Tag Archives: illness

Spinning Out of Control or Taking One Day at a Time?

This great photo is compliments of Seemann at morguefile.com.

I was trying to think of a subject for tonight’s blog. And then it came from my lovely muse, who takes such good care of me.

Does your life feel as if it’s spinning out of control?

You’re not going in the career direction you want.

Your relationship/s with your spouse/partner, kids, friends, boss or co-workers isn’t what you want.

You get up in the morning, grab a cup of coffee and a piece of toast and then get yourself and/or your family ready for the day. Then you jump in the car, drive to work through awful commute traffic, park and run in to start your work day. After work, it’s the same story in reverse. By 9 p.m., you are exhausted and wonder what it’s all about.

Or maybe you’re a student. You go to school each day and wonder what the payoff will be in a year or ten.

Remember that old song, “Alfie?” Here’s a link to it if you haven’t heard it in awhile or if you’ve never heard it. Hint…you can click on the link and it will open in a new window so you can listen while you read. Pretty cool, huh? Well, I think it is!

Anyway, Alfie was a playboy. He was never satisfied with one woman. That’s all I remember about the move. If you’re so inclined, you can rent it.

One of the lines in the song is, “Without true love, we just exist.”

And that, my friends, is what it’s all about if you want to stop feeling that your life is spinning like a top.

I learned this the hard way. Two years ago I was diagnosed with an incurable illness. Then last year, my doctor found out that I also have an incurable/unfixable (is that a word?) condition. I have to go into the hospital every two/three months to be treated.

Getting this news made me stand up and pay attention. And gradually, very slowly over the last six months or so, I realized that if I want the peace that passes all understanding, I have to slow down enough to recognize it in the small things (and in the big things, too).

I’ve had to slow down so much that I hardly recognize myself. It’s called taking one day at a time. And it works.

I still plan things, but I know that if my condition warrants a hospital visit when the time comes for the plans to come to fruition, that’s the way it will be.

It’s utterly amazing what I’ve seen and learned about myself and about other people.

I had to learn to be patient with medical staff.

I found out that the major medicine I take for short periods causes massive side effects. At one time, I had 17 of them.

I discovered that a lot of people don’t like to visit patients in the hospital.

I learned that the people you love will stick by you no matter what happens. This group includes very close friends and family members.

There is more, but most important of all, I had to accept the illness.

And in doing that, I also discovered that there are a lot of folks out there who are in worse condition than I am. And they keep going. And so do I.

Above everything, I have to turn over my will and my life to God’s care every day. I have to let God lead me down whatever paths I take now or in the future.

And that, dear readers, is the secret above all secrets. You don’t have to do it alone. I Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

Have a blessed day.



Filed under Health, Spirituality, Work

Yikes! Gray Hair, My Dad and Bruises

My goodness. Someone told me that when you’re sick your hair gets gray faster. Is that possibly true? I don’t know. I’m NOT going to look it up on the Internet…I don’t need to. My hair is noticeably grayer than it was before I got so sick. Shucks.

Who wants gray hair? I don’t. Some people have gray hair and look lovely. I don’t care if I’d be one of them! Time to find the hairdresser to turn my hair back into the age (well, kind of) of my mind – BLONDE. YES! That’s it.

I’ve made a decision and feel great as a result. Unfortunately, there aren’t any stylists available at 10:10 p.m. on a Monday night. Well, I mean, there are some available somewhere, but definitely not here. So tomorrow, that is my goal. Make an appointment. Get my hair done. Bingo, back to feeling like I did when I was young and in love.

Sounds like a plan, right? It is.

Now, about the IV bruises. I remember looking at my father’s arms as he got older and noticing the bruises he had from various shots, scrapes and cuts or bites. I thought,”They look really painful. I hope they don’t hurt him too much.” One time I touched one and asked him if it hurt.

“No,” he said, it doesn’t hurt.” I wanted to wave a magic wand and make the bruises disappear, but of course I couldn’t.

This last time in the hospital I had about 15 side effects of Prednisone. Did I say that yesterday? Who cares? I’m too lazy to look tonight. As a result of those side effects, I had to have other drugs, like insulin and a blood thinner. So now I have bruises on both arms and my stomach. They look awful. But they don’t hurt. Thank God for the small favors and graces.

Tonight, however, one of them itched. Now why did it do that all of a sudden? I haven’t a clue. So I scratched it and it got bluer. I think I’ll leave it alone and not scratch anymore.

Dad always scratched his sores. I do too. I popped pimples in high school, scratched off scabs in my middle years, and now I ran my fingernails across a bruise.

You may be wondering…”So what’s the point of all this talk about gray hair and bruises, Ellie?”

Have you ever noticed that when things are changing, you kind of feel itchy, like you want them to change quickly and just GET IT OVER WITH? I’ve had those feelings before, and that’s where I am tonight.

I’m ready to just GET BETTER. I’m ready to take back my life, start living like a normal person and not an invalid, and have the energy I need to have. I’ve made progress. I’m eating more healthily, getting exercise every day and petting my cats more often. Okay, I lied. I ate some chocolate yogurt ice cream and brownies today. But it was just a small slip!

You see, I’ve decided I’m going to be the only person in medical history to be completely cured of COPD.

After all, in 1996, my doctor told me I’d be in a wheelchair in six months if I didn’t stop cleaning houses, which had given me osteoarthritis in my hands, hips and knees. Today, 15 years later, you’d barely know I have that disease. I’m type on my ergonomic keyboard a LOT, can walk up and down stairs with no pain, and so forth. Why? Because I took charge of myself and my health and decided I wasn’t going to let any disease get me down.

It worked.

So, no matter what is going on in your life, you can turn it around if you really want to. I believe that. I’m living proof of it. And I know you can do it too, because I believe in you and most of all, I believe in God helping us.

I hope you have a bright and positively blessed day.

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Filed under Aging, Health